All Hail Firefighter Jack McPartland

“All men are created equal, then few become firemen, but there is only one Jack McPartland”

Is there a working fire? Ask Jack McPartland.

Is there a box about to be dispatched? Jack McPartland is already in the area.

Do you need additional resources? Someone call Jack McPartland

Is there work to be done? Jack McPartland already did it.

While leaving the safety of his comforting presence, taking the long walk to my vehicle from the office, I felt inspired to tell the world about Jack McPartland (his suggestion of mentioning him in our blog adding a bit more inspiration). Someday, all will know of the man, the myth, the legend.

To close, thank you for your hard work and all you do ,Firefighter McPartland.


The History of Small Meg

Now don’t be fooled… Small Meg wasn’t always the tiny little goofball we’ve all come to know and love. 

Just a short time ago (get it, cause she’s short), MaryKate Selner was delivered by the stork at the ripe age of 8. Selner came into this world with her 5 foot stature, which made for some very awkward encounters until her peers caught up to her. But once they did, they all kept growing and left poor Selner behind. Rather than sobbing into a Lean Cuisine, Selner embraced her newfound smallness. 

After her stint with the lollipop guild, she quickly gained attention from a gnome union based out of southern Iowa. Word quickly spread amongst the red-hatted creatures until finally they presented Selner with her own red hat at the 157th Annual National Garden Gnome Convention. Overwhelmed by their presentation, Selner accepted their request for her to be their leader, and to this day Small Meg still holds that prestigious title. 


The Story of Tall Meg

Did someone say shots?

Just kidding, it was probably us. We thought our first real post should be an introduction of sorts to the Megs, as told by our very own awe inspiring imaginations. So to REALLY kick things off, I’m going to introduce you all to Tall Meg with a short biography…


It wasn’t long ago that Emily Mallon first emerged from her pod. Taking her first steps just moments after birth, the young sapling was clearly destined for greatness. Mallon immediately saw her potential from high above her peers and began to claim airspace.

Quickly gaining political power, young Mallon was pleased with her success, but still felt like her life was missing something.

Many nights passed as she continued to search high and low for an answer. Then suddenly one night an epiphany hit the gentle giant right in the shins…


Her spiritual awaking guided her to a dead stop… and then suddenly… far below sea level… almost out of reach… she found her forever friend.

Her majesty, leader of the garden gnomes, Kate Selner.

To be continued…